As a frequent traveler on cruise ships, I’ve seen a lot of crazy things. Once, our ship ran aground outside of a port. Despite the Captain’s assurance that we were in no danger, one passenger came sprinting up to the deck with his life jacket strapped on and ready to go. The poor guy didn’t realize that the ship couldn’t sink if it tried when it’s sitting on top of a sand bar! Another incident involved a balcony, strong wind, and ‘sea spray’ that turned out to be a seasick passenger. Gross!
In one city, the street magician standing outside had her show cut short when the SWAT team showed up to arrest her. I guess that’s what happens when things disappear and you’re not performing on stage! This place must have been rife with crime, because I spotted a clown jumping out of the back window of another store with a typewriter under his arm, a pencil sharpener and a waste basket in the other, and a desk strapped to his back! Say what you want about clowns, this one was no bozo: A policeman asked, “What are you doing with all that?” The clown replied without even breaking his stride, “I’m impersonating an office sir!”
I had seen quite enough for one day, so away I went back to the safety of the ship. I thought I had escaped the madness, but not long afterwards I overheard one passenger ask whether the toilet used fresh or salt water. “I’m not sure,” said the manager, “but there’s really only one way to find out!”