Out of any profession in the world, being a mall security guard ranks right up there as one of the craziest experiences that anyone could have.
The average day is exactly that: Average. Watching the early morning madness that always follows the daily shipment of store goods; prowling the halls for dangerous unauthorized personnel, only to find a few unsuspecting young couples making out; and checking on the security of toilet paper in the bathroom.
Of course there are always interesting days, like the time we caught a kid shoplifting $5 spiky bracelets from “Warm Subject”, only to find out that he drove to the mall in a sports car. Sometimes people go to great lengths to avoid dropping a few bucks on something, even when they have the money in their pockets! Call me old fashioned, but I would be embarrassed to get caught stealing $2 worth of gummy worms from the Sweet Shoppe when I have $20 in my pocket, but I guess kids these days have to worry about their candy stealing ‘rep’ on the mean streets of CityVille.
That’s nothing compared to what happened in the mall last week. Don’t ask me how those skateboarders get into the mall in the first place, Distracted Dan the Doorman is supposed to be on the lookout for trouble as soon as it hits the main entrance. Anyways they got in, and as I’m walking towards the where the skaters were last seen, I hear one of them shout “Jump the fountain!”
So there I was, waiting to see what would happen next. I can hear the skater getting closer, the rhythmic click-clack sound of wheels on a tile floor getting louder as it approaches. Everyone knows what is about to happen; they turn towards the noise, hoping to catch a glimpse of the chaos that is about to ensue. All of a sudden I hear a whoosh of air and see a grayish blur in front of me, what just happened?!
I blink once, twice, and then allow my eyes to focus on the spectacle in front of me. It was Ruth! She must have been as fed up about those troublemakers as I was, because she took matters into her own hands, or feathers in this case. Next to her on the ground stood a flock of pigeons, still recovering from what just happened. I look over to see the skater kid on the ground -he never even made it to the fountain- and he’s covered in the one thing that pigeons are known for, you can probably guess!
Just another day in the life, we don’t put up with those types of shenanigans in CityVille!